Time to face a painful reality: Online dating isn’t easy. It can even be a downright pain in the ass. Nonetheless, it also probably the best option for finding nice women to date or even build a life with.
To achieve a relative level of success, all it takes is to overcome the more common obstacles that exist in the dating app realm. To do that requires first identifying them. Then it’s just a matter of figuring out the right actions, hacks, and strategies to surmount them.
In today’s installment, we’re going to cover the more common barriers to online dating success and how to defeat them.
However, before we dive in, something important needs to be understood. While online dating works for a huge percentage of people across the age and demographic spectrum, it’s not absolute nor foolproof.
Some people, especially men, may see better results using “real world” methods and strategies. That said, the vast majority of people who venture into the online dating universe, male or female, should be able to experience a reasonable degree of success. Provided, of course, that the most common barriers and obstacles are dealt with.
On that note, let’s proceed with online dating’s most common barriers (in no particular order)…
Common Barrier #1: The Time Factor
When guys first dip their toes into the waters of dating apps, they usually expect the matches, likes, and messages to just start pouring in during the first night’s swiping session. Doesn’t work that way. It can take several days to as much as a few weeks for the activity to reach a level of ‘critical mass’. It’s important to account for the necessary amount of time that it will take for the swiping, intro messages, and other activities to start getting results.
For a lot of guys just starting out, online dating can even feel like a part-time job. According to the latest stats, the average American male spends around 10-12 hours a week doing online dating activities. No matter what the expectations may be, even efforts at those levels won’t likely pay off quickly for most men.
When it comes to online dating, patience and endurance are most definitely virtues. Invest the necessary time and effort and be sure to commit to the long haul.
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Common Barrier #2: Trying To Keep It Real
Dating apps tend to make it easy for people to… *ahem*… embellish certain things about themselves. The distance and safety of not being in person during the introductory phase may encourage glossing over and even telling some fibs about someone’s age, height, weight, looks, job, finances, among many other things about themselves.
The average woman tends to shave a few years off her real age, while men tend to be less-than-truthful about their financial status and jobs. According to the latest Pew data, more than half of dating app users admit to either omitting certain facts about themselves or embellishing/lying about others.
A good way to filter out the less-than-honest matches is by vetting them online. Check out their social media and even google them by name and location to see what comes up. Guys should also be prepared to answer some rather personal or somewhat probing questions should things reach the first date phase. In any case, keeping things honest and on-the-level in one’s dating profile will go a long way in ensuring that honesty and truth win the day.
Common Barrier #3: Handling Rejection
Most guys aren’t ready for the staggering level of rejection that they’ll inevitably experience on dating apps. In terms of scale, the level of rejection that most guys deal with in the online dating world is exponentially higher than in the real world, for obvious reasons. It’s also why “ghosting” has become a thing on apps.
With the distance and safety of apps, it’s fairly for someone to just drop somebody cold. Especially in such brazen ways that may surprise the person being dumped. Over time, this can take a toll on even the most confident people.
Guys need to remember that the online dating world is MASSIVE. There are literally millions of people active in the most popular dating apps at any given time. There’s a filtering process that needs to take place before people start getting matched with that they will like and want to date. Getting to that point requires a certain amount of patience and intestinal fortitude. The sooner that guys accept that being rejected and ghosted is just part of the game, the better they will be able to manage those situations.
Here are a few other tips and takeaways to overcome these and other common online dating obstacles:
- Do Some Research! Developing skills and mastering how to handle various online dating situations is a smart way to go. Read up on relevant studies, statistics, and data to get a good feel of what’s going on in the space.
- Get The App That’s Right For You! There are so many sites and apps that cater to a wide variety of niches, cultures, and other traits. Choosing the right platform, then ensuring that it’s on the level are critical to success.
- Cast a wide net! Too often, guys will have a specific profile of women that they are looking for on dating apps. And yes, it’s almost always too specific and unrealistic. A guy should use the fact that there is a wide variety of women on various dating apps to his advantage.
- Don’t fall for scams! As the old saying goes, if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. There are far too many scammers in the dating app world. Most are trying to “hook” guys to get money and even expensive gifts out of them, before moving on to other marks. Be diligent and aware at all times.
There’s a lot more to cover on this topic, so look out for future posts!
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